Help me, I’m a realist.


Merriam-Webster’s website defines the word realist as “a person who recognizes what is real or possible in a particular situation : one who accepts and deals with things as they really are”.  I am by definition, a realist.  I wear this label with pride as it has served me well over the years in decision making and making sense of difficult or seemingly unexplainable situations.  There are only two instances I can recall in my life in which my realist mentality has failed to yield a reasonable solution to a posed question or odd occurrence and today I am asking any and everyone for help with the second, and very recent, mystery.

On December 24, 2017 my family and I loaded up into my vehicle and headed to my mom’s house to celebrate Christmas and exchange gifts as we do every Christmas Eve.  The night was going great, the food was incredible and it is rare that I get to spend good quality time with my mom, sister, wife and kids together in one place.  Just when I thought the night could not be any more enjoyable, it came to me that we had not even participated in what many people consider to be the highlight of the Christmas season, gift exchange.  Having to unwrap new socks or ugly sweaters could not even keep this night from going down as one of the best Christmas Eve gatherings ever!  Then just as we all reached an emotional high as my girls unwrapped their last gifts, it happened.  Unexplainable question number two happened.


As the kids screamed, laughed, and played with their new toys my sister walked over and handed me a huge, awkward shaped gift that was familiar in shape and name, but clearly something much more.  For probably fifteen seconds the only thing that I focused on was the fact that “Yeti” was written in big bold letters on the front.  As I snapped out of my trance I realized that the familiar shape I was overlooking was that of a bucket.  It was awesome!  It had a top!  It was a Yeti cooler in the shape of a bucket!  Although I do not own an ice chest or cooler and rarely, if ever, have a need for one, I was super impressed that my sister would spend so much money on me for Christmas.  Just as I was starting to enjoy the fact that I was a proud new owner of a bucket shaped Yeti cooler I  noticed all of the writing and suggestions on, around, and in the bucket cooler and guess what, it was not a cooler (the lack of check mark in the box besides the words “A COOLER” tipped me off along with the $40 price sticker).  Yeti Bucket


Upon realizing that my new bucket cooler was not a cooler I did what I believe to be natural for anyone to do in my situation, I began to search and wonder what it actually was.  At this point all I knew was that Yeti would not make a simple bucket, and it was not a cooler.  The obvious route to a definitive answer was to follow the numerous ads, claims, and suggestions pasted right to the “not a cooler” itself.  Though I have yet to pin point the elusive definitive answer, I have used the factory stickers on the contraption to list my best educated guesses as to what exactly it is, and what exactly it is not.

-It is a transforming multi-tool.

I guess it is one or all of these things.

-It is a tough, outdoor cereal bowl.


-It is a bilingual child murderer.



-It is not a soccer ball.

Not for kicking.


Kidding aside, it is crazy to me that people get so caught up in a brand that they will shell out $40 for a bucket.  That being said, it is the best bucket that I have ever seen and I am glad that I received this gift because I could not see me spending over $5 in todays money for a bucket in my life.  The moral of this story is that the Yeti company apparently has a brilliant marketing department that could sell snow balls to eskimos and a $5 tool for $40 because it bears the company’s name.  I hope to one day possess just a fraction of the marketability for this site and any other business venture that I pursue.

For pricing and reviews of the Yeti Loadout Bucket click the Yeti Bucket link above.

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9 thoughts on “Help me, I’m a realist.”

  1. “It is a bilingual child murderer”

    Is it wrong that I still can’t quit laughing at this part of the post? It was just really unexpected and I never would have dreamed that this yeti bucket review would have taken me this far down the rabbit hole.
    Fancy bucket, surely endless fancy things you could do with it (crawfish head catcher :-)!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. FYI…It does serve as a cooler too. I own one as well. I travel weekly from Dallas to Cajun Country and the ice endures my six hour journey. Your realistic discernment skills prevail.

    Liked by 1 person

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